My testimony and calling to Hong Kong

God is a mystery to me most of the time.

When I was a new believer I would never have admitted that, but it's true, even after 15 years of being a believer I still just don't understand God or God's ways most of the time.

I actually accepted God, making an honest but private confession of faith when I was just 13 while reading the Nicene Creed one Sunday in St. James Episcopal church in Laconia, New Hampshire, USA. I didn't know it was God that I felt swell up in my heart as I read those famous words, "I believe in the only begotten son of God..." It only happened at that one sentence, and although I had read that creed a hundred times before, that was the first time I experienced the Holy Spirit, and I read the creed afterwards but it never happened again. Nevertheless, for several years after, I was by and large unaware of God's reality and totally ignorant of his ways, and so basically still lost.

I realized it was impossible for God NOT to exist
God spoke to me a second time when I was about 16 in a revelation that I can't even describe to this day. He showed me that it is impossible for God NOT to exist. If at any time nothing ever existed . . . nothing at all . . . then nothing would be there to come into existence, there would be no reality, no time, no space to exist within. We certainly would not be here to observe reality as a witness, but we are here and therefore it is impossible for NOTHINGNESS to ever have existed. So something, some reality, some organizing principle must have ALWAYS existed. I can't describe it well because it is so deeply profound -- it was a revelation far beyond my normal understanding and it was logical proof that God must exist, has always existed, and so will probably always exist.

But I still didn't know Him or his ways; I became increasingly miserable and sinful until I finally became aware of my salvation when at 19 a friend led me to the Lord Jesus Christ properly. I soon found a purpose in my life and clarity in my mind that I had never known and started devouring the Bible and looking for people to witness to.

I remember the first time I heard God speak to me and knew it was God. I had only been saved for a few weeks, so I still had punk hair, my wardrobe was only black and purple and I was working at a New Age crystal stall in the mall. We had no business for most of the day so I just sat there reading my Bible. I suddenly heard God tell me to get a different Bible. I didn't realize there were different English versions, and that made me curious about the strengths and weaknesses of each one, which led me to read and compare as many different translations of the Bible as I could find. I read several different versions thoroughly until finding the Rotherham's Emphasized Version, a powerful literal translation that opened up the Lord's word to me in a clear and accurate way. I still use that Bible today for study.

My appetite to uncover the mystery of God was so insatiable that very soon I had read the whole Bible more than once and was a keen witness to many unsaved people (and a few saved ones as well!).

By the fall of that first year I was serving as youth pastor in a small but very spiritual country church where the Spirit flowed very freely with manifestations of His gifts in every service. We were only 30 people, but we danced, sang in the spirit and set up a food charity where we distributed more than 100,000 lbs of food to our community in about one year.

The Spirit was there in a measure, but as people we were so concerned with anyone 'bringing themselves forward' or people 'adding to the church vision' for fear of losing direction or control, that we stifled the Spirit in some ways too. We developed a mentality where the church leadership and pastor’s family were approved to hear from God but ordinary people were not really encouraged or trusted with God’s revelation. I also began to have dreams and discern God's voice more clearly, but was encouraged to view this merely as 'discernment,' while in the church leadership it was called 'Prophecy.'

This attitude of control ensured we lost members as soon as we got them and our church just never grew. I also quickly hit a growth plateau where I stayed for almost two years until three things happened seemingly simultaneously. I decided at 22 that I was no longer a child, which was why I was tolerated; I acknowledged the small but real manifestations of God in my life, and started sharing what God had been telling me; and I prayed a prayer to God that he could not possibly ignore. I knew that we only grow through overcoming adversity, for it is a trial that brings us into abundance, as it says in Psalm 66. So I said to God in all honesty that I wanted to mature enough to be used by Him in a big way, and so would God please prepare me to do a great thing for him by putting me through the hardest trial I could possibly endure, and when I cried out for him to stop, not to listen to me but only stop when I've reached the limit of my ability to endure.

Some prayers obviously move God's heart more than others!
I don't know what led me to pray that prayer, it seems either very stupid or a stroke of genius, but it was in the Spirit of God, and He honored it beginning the very next week.

This led to the most painful season of my life, which led into a second more painful season, which led into a third most terribly awfully painful season that quite nearly destroyed me. We don’t recognize God’s blessing most of the time, and resist and refuse them, but God is only a source of Goodness and Blessings, from Him all Blessings Flow! Even if what He blesses us with seems painful and scary at first, it will always lead us into abundance . . . that is, if we abide in him and do not quit along the way! I realize now it was the start of my journey to trust God and only God, and to forgive all people for every sin and walk in love, but at the time I was very badly wounded, immature, stubborn and ignorant of God's ways in my heart. But this was the path, like Joseph's, that God chose to teach me these things.

First my church kicked me out. When I was seen as a child, I was not a challenge or a threat to the status quo, but the day I shared my first revelation, which was simply that God wanted to lead us into deeper worship, I was instantly and severely reprimanded. We commonly had half a dozen revelations or prophetic words brought forth in each service, so it was nothing unusual or inappropriate to share what we felt God was saying.

But I see now that as I had stood by and watched member after member of our church family be asked to leave, sometimes unceremoniously, that I never defended them, even once when I knew I should have, now that it was my turn and I needed someone's help, there was no one left to defend me. Actually, there was one person who stood by me. I felt a large shield of protection standing in front of me, guarding my heart while my leaders and closest family in the Lord accused me of unjustified, illogical, untrue and devastatingly hurtful things, all out of simple insecurity that anyone would 'add to the vision of the church' or 'bring themselves forward.' Both of which I did and so had to be dealt with!

At the time I was too immature to make an honest judgment and recognize that this was NOT my fault, and instead I felt both rejected and condemned and it basically destroyed my spiritual life for years. I did not believe it at the time, but I now recognize this as the answer to prayer, akin to when David was forced to flee Saul's palace, not due to David's wrongdoing, but Saul's insecurity, which the Lord turned around, as He does, and used to train David to be King. God wanted me to forgive quickly, not take it personally, and just move on, but I didn't know God's ways in my heart well enough to do that, so I reacted in anger, pain and rejection.

A year later I enrolled in law school to earn my Ph.D. (J.D.), the Lord confirming this as the direction he had chosen for me. But the stress of it plummeted me into an even deeper valley. I began to drink for the first time in my life and stopped reading the bible, going to church or even praying. I also stopped hearing God's voice or getting any prophetic revelations or dreams practically altogether. I was still hurt, but it now turned to bitterness, and the demands of becoming a lawyer were too heavy on me at 25 to give me any respite.

My first visit to Hong Kong
I then visited Hong Kong in 1996 to do a summer program of law in China and met my future wife who then worked at Cathay Pacific. I sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit in our relationship almost immediately and it led me to jump in with both feet! Back in the US, I finished the third and last year of my degree, was published in international law, we got married in March and fell pregnant almost immediately.

Without a vision the people perish
At that point the Lord gave me a vision that set a road map for the next several years of my life. It was going to look to everyone, including especially my innocent and unsuspecting wife, that we were lost, that I was leading us in the wrong direction, but it was the best path, and in the end He would restore and bring great abundance. I thought the trial to mature and purify, not just me, but my wife as well, that the Lord showed me in that vision was going to be a mere a six month journey . . . but it turned out to be more than eight years. And I can honestly say that had He not told me what we were going to face before it began, we would have surely gotten separated, probably divorced, I would have left Hong Kong, more than once, and we would have made a right mess of our lives and missed God's plan and the blessings of maturity and obedience of discovering God's perfect will.

It all becomes clear . . . 9 years later!
Basically I finally found out that the Lord answered that prayer I prayed about preparing me to be used by him in a big way, by calling me to run a large publishing and media ministry in Hong Kong for Him, anointing me with His spirit of 'kratos' or governing power -- a spirit of Kingship -- a spirit of unity, a pioneering or apostolic anointing, and the authority to receive and publish God's 'cutting-edge' prophecy.
He called me to become more like Christ, to serve him with singleness of heart, to give up my life and live it for him.
He called me to give up my own security, my pride, my independence, my stubbornness and my dream career in law.
He called me to learn how to teach children, teenagers and adults, how to layout, design and plan magazines, and how to be a photographer and make basic web pages.
He also called me to learn to write and edit magazine articles, novels, and movie screenplays.
He called me to lay down every ambition, every right and all my self-respect, to die to my own life, in order that I could be raised to life in the image of a son of God.

That all sounds wonderful, doesn't it? There was only one problem . . . He neglected to tell me this was his plan before my life seemed to unravel and every near-recovery also collapsed in broken dreams and disappointments. God's ways are higher than man's ways, and he told me several times that He had a plan and that it was to prosper me, and not to harm me, but it certainly looked the other way around! But as I reflect on the lives of Joseph and David, however, I see how all along the way, they must've looked like failures too, but they weren't. They were being blessed by God, not cursed! They were being prepared by God, learning His ways, learning to walk by Faith, not by sight!

I cannot describe the depths of hopelessness I fell into as I learned to only trust in God as my hope; or the sorrow that ruled my life until I learned to embrace His joy, which is above circumstances; nor the fear I felt in my very bones before I made up my mind to run to Him in my weakness; or the penetrating sense of worthlessness and failure that I lived with day in and day out, until I stopped basing my identity on who the world said I was and found my true identity in Jesus Christ as a chosen and dearly beloved son of God.

And in my brokenness I discovered the priceless treasure of true compassion, more patience --patience that did not come from me -- and a wider embrace of forgiveness towards others.

God has wonderful plans for each of us, and for Hong Kong as a crown of splendor and royal diadem in His hand, and I know walking His way is sometimes hard because frankly, His ways are higher than our ways and we just don't easily understand or obey them. But as we do, as we walk in faith, as we obey, we inherit the manifold blessings he has given us in Christ, the most valuable to me being salvation, sonship, peace, joy, hope and love.

So my advice is, if you feel God is calling you to do something UN-comfortable, know that it is the path to great blessings, and tell him in all honesty to 'bring it on,' but then hold on with all you have to Jesus and his love and every promise he's given you because He alone is faithful, and after he has shaken all the ungodly rubbish out of your life, he will fulfill every promise he has made, and bring you into abundance! That's the best advice I have learned for those who 'wrestle with God' because they want his blessings.

So I say, let all the earth exalt Him, and let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

What are we called to do?
Our Vision for serving Hong Kong in our Apostolic Media Ministry has seven key elements: We endeavor to serve the Lord Jesus Christ in Hong Kong by (1) building interdenominational unity (2) through facilitating communication in the body of Christ (3) to allow His ministers to share God's revelation (4) for the edification of the entire Body, (5) to bring people into a greater personal intimacy with Jesus (6) to bring the Freedom of Life and Victory we have in Jesus to the whole community (7) through prayer-filled efforts in the spiritual realm, in the information realm, and in the media realm.

Aaron is the idea
Moses was given God's word for Pharaoh, yet Moses did not speak to Pharaoh directly, did he? No, he spoke through Aaron. God told us that Aaron is the Media, it is the carrier of the witness and testimony of God to the world.

The media in all its forms was created by God to spread the gospel, but we have let the enemy use it for all manner of unclean purposes. We must engage the world through the media. The only way we can fulfill our calling from God to disciple nations is to be effective in all manner of relationships and communication. Without using Media to its fullest effect, we will not be able to win this battle. We must speak, publish, video, sing, perform, act, dance, teach, write for Jesus in any medium that we have an open door from the Lord to use.

The mass communication system must be used for ministers to share their revelation of Jesus with the world. We are called here to work to give a voice to the local Hong Kong body of Christ to allow Hong Kong ministers to be able to share their messages with the whole city, all of Asia and even the entire world that sits in darkness. So let the light shine and dispel the darkness, let God arise and his enemies be scattered! Amen, and God bless!

Edward Johnson, esq.
King Edward Ltd. Apostolic Media Ministry
Publishers of the Good Word, Mabuting Balita, Chronicles of Silver Comic and the unreleased Hong Kong Intercessor, and Jplus Magazine for teens.